It has been a month now since I joined eHarmony, and so far they
have sent me 219 matches, some of the latest ones being from PA, OH and Texas. I have spent the morning eliminating anybody
that hasn't been active in the last month, is too short, too old, too dumb, too
unappealing, lives in a trailer or has pictures of themselves pushing dogs
(poodles no less) in strollers! I think I got two Js, and three people have
actually contacted me. One guy wanted to bypass the question and answer process
altogether and go straight to email, which I don't want to do for many reasons,
not the least of which is that he is almost 80. I have played along with the
question and answer process with a guy that lives in The Florida Keys, and have gotten
as far as the last three questions, which don't have multiple choice answers –
almost like essay questions I guess. I really don't like these 3 questions; it is
starting to sound like an interview for a job that I don't really want. Seriously? What is the most adventurous thing
I have done in the last year? What 3 traits do I bring to a relationship, and what are my general feelings about money and
personal wealth? Answers would be: 1)
Joined eHarmony 2) don’t know, and 3) You better have some if you want to date
me. I doubt if I will be continuing with that guy, he doesn't really appeal to
me, even though he seems like a fun person – he’s in a band and plays
percussion on his prosthetic leg.
On the opposite side
of the spectrum, what is the deal with Zoosk!? Last week, just on a whim, I
decided to check them out. I haven't joined the site, haven't even posted a
picture of myself, just linked it to my Facebook image which at the moment is a
yin yang fish drawing, and I have had 15 guys contact me – but here’s the
humorous part - only three of them are over 40, the rest range in age from 18 to 39. What kind of
scam do you suppose they are trying to pull off contacting a 65 year old woman that
has no picture with comments like “when I saw you I fainted and hit my head, I
need your name and number for insurance purposes”, and of course the old “did
it hurt when you fell from heaven”.
In retrospect I don't
know if I really am ready to be in a relationship, or even want to be in one. I
have always had the theory that if it was meant to be it would happen. But then I wonder how is it supposed to
happen when I am one step short of being a hermit living in a cave! I don't own
a car, so I don’t go anywhere – in fact the last time I went anywhere and met a
man that I was even remotely interested in was last year on my birthday, when
Dana and I went to Bond (which has since closed). I met two guys that started
to talk to me, and after about ten minutes Dana whipped me out of there so fast
it made my head spin. I didn't say anything about it at the time, but later the subject came up and she said she needed to get me out of there because they were
getting “too interested” in me. Huh?????
I still don't understand what that was supposed to mean. Although I have
to respect her decision, I was getting a little ‘tipsy’ (understatement) and
probably about to start making a fool of myself, she was not. And as I recall,
the better looking of the two, which was the one I was interested in, was kind of shy and waited for his friend to get
there before he actually spoke to me. In fact I think it was his friend that made the
first move, and he bore a striking resemblance to the Buddha. Even though I
greatly respect the Buddha’s teachings, I don't necessarily want to date
him. So I really don't have a lot of (if
any) options for meeting a prospective date/mate. Bars have proven unreliable in the past, that’s where I
met the first husband and the long-term-ex-boyfriend, and two of the worst relationships
I have ever been in were with guys I met at work! Which is why I have a strict
policy against dating people I work with – not that I have a snowball’s hope in
hell of meeting anybody at work anyway, I'm only there two days a week and
rarely see a human being when I am.
I guess it’s all
irrelevant anyway – I've paid for it, so I have to stick it out for the next
11 months. It’s just not even giving me any interesting blog content at this point,
I thought I would at least have
something funny to relate by now! Maybe I am being too selective –
eHarmony is saying ‘yes’ because I have specified non-smokers only, they seem
to think I should loosen my restriction so they can send me more matches. But that
one is a deal-breaker! I absolutely will not date smokers, and I have found
that people lie about it anyway. I can't tell you how many guys I met the last
time I tried this experiment that had non-smoker on their profile but in
reality were “trying to quit”, unsuccessfully I might add.
This is all starting
to make me feel a little shallow and self-centered, but I don't intend to settle for anything less than a perfect match, and why should I
feel guilty when these guys aren't exactly beating down my door either.
I guess I am just
going to have to look for other subjects to blog about – like whether or not I
am going to have to get the sandbags out of the shed! This year’s rainy season
is making up for last year’s dry summer.
~Peace out and don't forget to feed the fish~
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