Here comes your 19th nervous breakdown

I have a bunch of half-finished blogs in the works, and I doubt if they will ever get finished, so I am going to try to just start posting them, starting with this little gem that I started right after Thanksgiving.

2014.12.04_Here comes your 19^th nervous breakdown

Lately I have been seriously lacking motivation.

I can’t even begin to count the number of blogs I have started and then just completely lost my train of thought, and wandered away.  

I just put my suitcase away yesterday from the trip I got back from almost a month ago. I still have not put away all of the clean clothes. In fact the bedroom currently looks like a bomb went off in a shoe store/boutique. But I did dust – or at least I started to dust – I believe that the dust cloth is currently sitting on top of my ‘dresser’. I have violated the first rule of cleaning – get a basket or a box to put things that belong elsewhere in, and stay in one place until it’s finished. Instead I find something that belongs in the kitchen, in the bedroom – so I take that one thing back to the kitchen, only to stop to wash a dish, that is correct, one dish. Then I come over here to the computer and recall some snippet of an idea and start rambling on about that for a little bit. A N D then back to the bedroom. Rinse and repeat – ADHD cleaning at its finest. By the time I get back to the bedroom I have totally forgotten where I was trying to tidy-up in the first place, and will in all probability wander off again because of it. That or leave to find the phone so I can add another task to my Any.do list.

I need to get a list from the Sidetracked Sisters. 

My dosha is unbalanced and my chi is totally screwed up – I feel like I am in this never ending loop of not getting anything accomplished – not cleaning up the mess, but contributing to it. I don’t think there is one area of this house that is totally put together – and the funny thing is that I have created this chaos in just a little less than a month. When I got back home from Orlando this place was like an Architectural Digest photo-shoot waiting to happen. And I don’t know what happened!! I usually have a pretty firm grip on the chaos around here, but once things get out of control I can’t cope with it, I just freeze up and escape into a book or something.

According to Ayurveda, I need to get on a schedule, meditate twice a day, give up coffee – fat chance on the coffee thing, and probably the schedule too.

I may not have disclosed that I have a horrible tooth issue that I am trying to deal with – totally without any results, every time I have to deal with change anymore I just freeze up. So I can’t chew anything at the moment, which means it is impossible for me to eat in public –(and the office holiday party is coming up in 10 days)- good thing I bought the Nutra Ninja blender because I am going to be on a smoothie and soup diet, which is fine with me because I like them both. Hopefully if I make my own soups instead of the frozen or boxed kind, I will save a little money. The beneficial side effect of all this is that I have lost weight and am now almost back to where I was before my birthday last year, and all the candy and cookies that started to show up from then until Christmas.  

I need to figure out a way to get more followers for this blog –

And that's the way it ended - with half a thought.

Peace and Love from Anna 

 

Today I am thankful for Kleenex...

Heaven welcomed another angel today – that sounds really corny doesn’t it, but in this case it is absolutely true. My cousin, Patti Ruvolo McGaw passed away last night at only 62 years old. Apparently she had cancer but didn’t want anyone to know that she was sick.

Patti went through more personal tragedy than anyone should ever have to endure. She had her first battle with cancer when she was just a child, lost her Mother at age 12, had miscarriages and then lost her only daughter shortly after birth. Her son Matthew stopped breathing when he was a few months old, and consequently suffered brain damage, and her son Mark passed away two years ago, he was in his 30’s.

And yet Patti always had an upbeat and positive attitude. She was always smiling, and was there for anybody who needed anything. She checked in with our Aunts and Uncles regularly to make sure they were alright, and she never asked or expected anything in return. She had a beautiful spirit, and was the most giving and loving person, more than anyone I know, she truly epitomized the Sicilian values that we were raised with – family first – always.

My heart goes out to her husband, sons and brother Michael, but especially her grandchildren, Patti lived for her grandchildren, they were so close. 

I still find it hard to believe that I will never see her smiling face or hear her laugh again.