I have been having the weirdest dreams lately – I keep
dreaming about my ex-boyfriend of 12 years (Michael), and my second ex-husband
(who shall remain nameless). I suppose dreaming about Michael is not all that
unusual, I have dreamt about him in the past, but it has been more and more
frequent lately, and in every one of the recent dreams Michael is so tender and
loving, which is not exactly the way I remember the relationship at all!! He
was not much of a kisser, and he really wasn't into cuddling either, so I
really don’t understand why all of a sudden the dreams including him are all so sweet and soppy – sort of like a Hallmark Movie Channel production where the
biggest event is the first kiss. He even told me he loved me in one last week –
what’s up with that!
On the other hand, dreaming about nameless is very unusual –
I absolutely loathe and detest that man, I swear I would run him over if I saw
him crossing the street. He is the person who ruined Xmas for me forever. In
the 10 years that we were married I don’t recall him ever being happy or not
obsessing over something. He was the poster boy for depression, and he wore it
proudly, like a badge - the classic cartoon character with the rain cloud over
his head all the time.
His ‘issues’ were
his hobby. I’m not sure what it was about him that I hated the most – his passive
aggressive nature? If you have something to say, just come out and say it, don’t
dick around!! If I left a laundry basket of unfolded clothes in the bedroom, he
would be ‘helpful’ and fold them all – but then he would lay them all out very
neatly, ON MY SIDE OF THE BED – so that I would have to move them in order to
go to sleep. That happened twice, the first time I put them neatly back into
the basket and put them away the next morning, the second time I had a hissy
fit & threw them all over the room. Which was exactly what he wanted me to
do – if you know anything about me at all, you would know that I am at my worst
when I am tired or hungry. He took extreme and perverse pleasure in pissing me
off – he knew all of my buttons, and didn't hesitate to push them. He really
was a pretty evil person – constantly telling me that he loved me, which was
the only reason I married him, it didn't matter that I wasn't in love with him, only
that he loved me. Looking back, I’m not
sure I ever even LIKED him, he was so NOT my type – not in the least bit attractive, mind
numbingly boring with unbelievable halitosis to boot! And I found out later that he had researched me
before he asked me out – I believe the term for that now is stalking. I guess I
had overlooked the fact that people will lie and say whatever they think you
want to hear in order to get what they want. He would shower me with flowers and cards and gifts, when he was cheating on me from the
minute we got married, if not before – I find it amusing now how he criticized the
German engineers that he used to travel with because they had a girlfriend in every port so to speak, when he was doing the exact same
thing. I think he thought the farther away they were I wouldn't find out, and yet he liked to leave his phone bill with all the long distance calls highlighted, out where I was sure to see it. My sister told me that when she was going through a bad patch and living
with us, that he was hitting on her, and he was overly friendly with the 15
year old little German harlot exchange student from hell that was living with
us when my daughter was in high school. That was a major part of the reason why she
got sent to live out the rest of her US visit with the German teacher who set
up the exchange. Up until a few weeks
ago when I had my most recent dream – more like nightmare – the only time I
ever dreamt about him was decades ago, when I had this dream that he was
skipping naked through a field of poppies wearing my favorite pair of red stilettos
– huh???
And my main concern was not the fact that he was naked, which believe
me, is something NO ONE would ever want to see, but that he was ruining my
favorite shoes!! I can’t even remember anything about the latest dream, other
than that he was in it which automatically makes it bad. The nicest thing that man
ever did for me was divorcing me, and he only decided to do that when the child he fathered while we were still married got to be 9 months old, and I assume his baby-mama was bitching about it. Especially since he told me when I wanted to go to marriage counselling, that working on our marriage was not as important as his working on his 'issues'. I'm not sure exactly where getting some bitch knocked up falls into working on your 'issues'. The English have a saying that is so appropriate in this instance, “good riddance to bad rubbish”.
And then there’s the weirdest dream yet - a couple of nights
ago I dreamt about my first boyfriend from high school, he was visiting me,
along with Robin Williams. Robin was mad at his wife because she wouldn't quit
smoking, and was puffing on one of those ‘E’ cigarettes all the time. Robin Williams? Seriously? I have no idea
where that one came from – I am not a fan of his, in fact, I go out of my way
to avoid most of his movies because, just like Adam Sandler, he seems capable of
only playing one type of goof ball. I think the only movie he ever made that I
could say I liked was What Dreams May Come, and I liked it mainly for the
cinematography. So point being, where did
that come from? I sure wasn't thinking about him, didn't see him on television or
even in an AARP magazine article. I am still puzzled over that one. But I guess I should consider myself lucky that nobody was naked and try to move past it!
